Open Heart, Open Wings – How Charlotte Taught Me To Forgive

Hi Everyone,

I will share with you today some words on forgiveness.

To Forgive, For – Give, fore – first = firstgive or simply GIVE FIRST.

The art of true forgiveness is to give first, with no judgement , for no reason, without qualification.

It is not to say that it is cool to allow yourself to be violated but instead to realise that through your own lack of conscious direction you may have ended up in a particular situation. And now that it has occurred it is an opportunity to release attachment by relaxing body/mind and opening your heart for no reason than the awesome benefits an open heart will bring.

When we are hurt we can go into a type of ‘lockdown’ in which we refuse to release because if we do we will heal and in healing we potentially dissolve the act along with the pain.

We may also be afraid to heal because in the defenceless needed to open the heart we fear our vulnerability will invite further attack.

Furthermore on a deeper level we avoid healing ourselves because we know that within our own healing lies the opportunity for the attacker to heal also.

We attach a story to this, telling ourselves that because this being has committed this atrocious act then they do not deserve to heal. Unfortunately for us as a whole God-Being this is a double edged sword.

Any healing we withhold from another is a healing we deny ourselves.

It cannot be any other way. It is why the wars in the world continue, it is how we can allow our children to be on the receiving end of relationship conflict and it is why we so often end up eating away at ourselves in dis-ease.

In Hapkido the most powerful defence is harmony.

This means that as an attacker approaches, you allow your body/mind to relax whilst consciously engaging the energy of spirit. The result is that you clear your world and find yourself in the NOW, with access to all information available.

Having this access is of great benefit as it allows you to ‘see’ the movements of the attacker almost before they have moved. You get the gyst of their intentions in the way they focus their eyes, point their toes, splay their knee’s etc!

When you have clarity of mind and access to all information you are open to a selection of solutions; you have the advantage and in this advantage you would never intend to hurt the other.

You can let them flow off you like water. And whilst you may employ a technique to protect yourself, your only desire is that your attacker see the truth and harmony available, drop their arms and be free of self inflicted pain.

To give first is a process of dropping your defences and opening your heart before there is any reason to. Humans can find this notion challenging, that an act of softness, harmony and acceptance could be effective against violence.

This is softness but with a firm intention to activate the life energy or chi behind it. It is willingness to trust self, to take the risk of letting go and allowing internal strength and good intention to follow through with the best result for all involved.

Intention is an important component of forgiveness. Practicing conscious intention is like practicing anything, the more you do it the better you get at it.

If in every moment of remembering you make the intention to be focused in the NOW soon you will see results. You will find yourself more often in the now, remembering to intend and enjoying the connection to all around you.

Intention is a way to consciously create you reality. By ‘intending’ for happiness or for peace you make it clear to body/mind/spirit in which direction you prefer to move.

Meditation can help to loosen your old patterns and programming making room for some lovely new intentions.

The forgiveness attitude in martial arts works to bring immense power to our techniques, allowing for less muscle exertion and more effectiveness and innovation. The Masters in Hapkido are Master’s of forgiveness.

Forgiveness when applied to life in general will work in exactly the same way.

I remember watching a documentary about atrocities committed on the women of Africa.

I followed the tears down the face of beautiful, ravaged Charlotte as she recounted her experience to the camera. My heart began to split painfully at the shocking story, the ache was deep and full.

I asked myself ‘how can she ever forgive the men that did this to her?’ I didn’t even try to answer at that point my heart was hurting too much, I grabbed a brush and began to paint. A few hours went by and soon Charlotte stood before me, holding my gaze, her new wings stretched in an openness I realised reflected the opening that had been rendered in my being.

I knew in that moment that it wasn’t for Charlotte to forgive or not to forgive, that was not even my business. I had been given an opportunity in the witnessing of her story to open my own soul and empty my pot of harsh judgement.

Sure I hadn’t committed an atrocity like the ones I had just seen but I had committed the atrocity of hate, loathing,self righteuosness and judgement. I had killed those men in my mind, had torn them to little bits.

I was in everyway as guilty as the ‘bad guys’ I was supporting pain in the world, the world of energy that is also Charlotte’s world and my children’s world.

Regardless of who or what I am hating, whether I feel justified in that hatred or not, I am contributiing to the energy of hatred in the system that is US.

I am giving voice to the lack of love and the darkness that had been allowed to grow in the babies who eventually became Charlotte’s attackers.

Even though Charlotte may never find forgiveness for those that hurt her, I, sitting pretty in my comfortable world had every opportunity to lighten the load. And as I lightened the load for myself, I naturally opened up a space of love and healing for ALL involved in the story.

The lost and sad of this world are reflections of the self, and we do not serve the self by closing off in hatred.

The acts that people committ can sadden the mind of an evolutionary but it should not be the focus, Instead find a way to notice the innocent spark, open your heart even more and offer true forgiveness where you can.

Point yourself in the direction of love, drop your defences and in the space of harmony be receptive to guidance.

Give first and be whole.

Until next time, keep breathing

Arna

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