Is This Who I Really AM?

Hi Everyone,

Have you ever noticed that some people are always late? Maybe you are even one of them!

Why do you think that is?

When I was a child my parents were consistently late, no matter where they were going or who they were going to see.

They would send us to the car to wait and about twenty long minutes later they’d amble on down and we’d head off only to be hours late. Even if we had to catch a train or be at the airport we’d be speeding to get there, hurtling down the transit lane to try and bypass other traffic. I personally found the behaviour frustrating and embarrassing!

As I got older I realised that my parents would enthusiastically agree to attend various events then immediately regret their ready YES. They would then carry on and complain incessantly about the fact that they were expected to turn up, filling the lead up time with a sense of negativity.

My parents are creative people and very loving but at the same time the sense of social anxiety in the house prior to spending time with ‘outsiders’ (being family didn’t preclude you from being considered an outsider either!) was palpable and became a type of programming for the four of us children.

Now, after years of personal development and self-examination I know that my parents were late because they were held back by fear. As much as they may have deeply loved their friends and enjoyed their company the fear that they would be exposed in some way to be ‘less than’ was quite a problem.

As adults, myself and my siblings have all had to conquer our own fears of inadequacy; have had to face up to a varying degrees of social anxiety. Weirdly enough it has led three of the four of us into the public eye and left one to choose a very quiet, family life!

In the past I have always been nervous if I had to go to a party or speak to a group but since I realised this programming had taken place it helped me understand that it wasn’t really who I AM.

I have chosen to face my fears (or my parents fears!) and build my confidence by continuously putting myself out there. I have, event by event, learned to relax and interact naturally and now look forward to the time i spend with people whether I know them or not.

So there a two points to this article ONE is people who are always late probably have an emotional reason for it!

But more importantly, no fear is insurmountable because all fear is a programmed response and with willingness and awareness we can look deeper and respond from a place of personal truth.

Who I AM is a secure piece of the universal puzzle, there is no reason for me to fear interaction with the other parts of me in fact it’s a joy to play the interaction game, after all it’s all God, I mean it’s all good!

I suggest we check out our habits, even if they seem harmless. Check them out especially if they seem to annoy others, because chances are we are simply reliving one of our parents insecurities….and really it is AWESOME who we can be when we lay these old boys to rest!

Until next time

Keep Breathing

Arna

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