Okay, so this week I wanted to bring you a quick tip on how to reduce the amount of stress and/or pain and suffering and/or turmoil that you have in your life caused by your brain. And we’re going to discuss how to reduce that through the simple steps of adjusting your expectation and/or preference. Because the scientific process that occurs to create negative emotions – to create pain and suffering… and this is how your brain work scientifically, and this is how your mind works from a process standpoint… is; Expectation and/or Preference as compared to Reality as Perceived equals an Emotional Reaction.
Of course science proved this out long ago… that your brain is constantly scanning the environment for potential dangers to your sense of self, and it is comparing it’s perception of reality to your expectation or preference of reality (which of course being that it’s a safe environment… that there are no threats that exist… and when one does exist then it kicks fear in as an innate response from the brain… it floods the blood stream with adrenaline, pupils constrict, attention is focused, etc. Well… all emotions work like this – every one of them.
And if you’ve taken a moment to read the white paper (I’m expanding that as we speak to include all of the specific definitions of the emotions as they occur and as they are processed within the mind), it basically comes down to… Expectation and/or Preference as compared to Reality as Perceived equals an emotional response. And there is no emotional response you can have on the planet, regardless of your age, regardless of your ethnicity, regardless of your culture, regardless of where you grew up, regardless of your cognitive ability… that doesn’t involve this process right here. And more and more Psych PhDs are jumping on board that this is indeed how it works.
But to use that in your everyday life…? Well, it becomes this simple: Anger cannot exist without this [Equation of Emotion]. Sadness cannot exist without this. Worry, regret, frustration… none of those can exist without this, and so what on [this] can we adjust? Well we can try to adjust our reality is perceived and put on rose colored glasses and try to see everything in a positive light, but that is very difficult to do because it’s a never-ending process. Or we can adjust our expectations and preferences regarding things in our life, which is also difficult, but it CAN be done more easily on one-on-one basis regarding the the things that you’re concerned about or the things that you have expectations about.
When life doesn’t meet our Expectation and/or Preference, that’s when we have a negative emotion. And so if you’re being plagued by sadness, depression, worry, regret, anger… whatever it is… if you didn’t have the expectation or preference regarding whatever it is that’s vexing you… (+5 points for using the word vexing)… if you didn’t have that expectation or preference, you would NOT have any negative emotional response regarding that situation. Period. It would not occur.
And so what we can do in our everyday life, is to lower and/or eliminate our expectations or preferences regarding specific things in out life. And that comes to the common sense conclusion of living life the way it is… accepting things the way they are, and having our existence be as it is… and simply coming to an immediate acceptance of everything that occurs… and living our life in relation to that reality… rather than fretting about how reality isn’t meeting up to our expectations or preferences.
Now… there’s an argument to be made there, that… “Oh my God, this guys suggesting that I lower my expectations… I don’t live life like that… I have high expectations of yada yada yada…” And frankly this argument is bullshit.
If you cannot live your life to the fullest and put in a high amount of effort to create a great experience for yourself without having an expectation connected with that… then I pity you. Because that’s a pretty weak mental position to take. Because I can live my life, and do my best, and put in my best effort without having expectations that my efforts are going to be fruitful. And so when they are fruitful it’s an awesome surprise. And when they’re not fruitful, I can simply accept that reality, and change whatever needs to be changed and move on rather than fretting about… “why?… and… “oh my goodness”… and… “how does this reflect on me?”… yada yada yada… and all that extra BS that does not create any positive energy for you to improve your life.
The reality is you can’t have negative feelings without an expectation and/or preference regarding something… and then a reality as your mind is presenting to you that isn’t meeting up to that expectation or preference. You cannot have a negative emotion without this [Equation of Emotion].
And so if you break [this] right here… the Expectation and/or Preference regarding any little thing… you will not have a negative emotion about that particular thing. It is impossible. And you CAN live your life by it, because the reality is you can adjust your negative emotions by reducing your expectations and are preferences regarding specific things in your life. And I invite you to do so, because if you release your expectations and your preferences regarding whatever was vexing you (another +5 points), then your life will get that much better. And you won’t be thinking about how reality isn’t meeting up to your expectation or preference. You’ll be able to take that time of your mind churning… and that energy that you’re using in creating negativity… and in reviewing and creating negative emotions, yada yada yada… and you’ll be able to apply that whatever situation that may not be optimal… and change your life for the better.
So think about that.
Because if you feel bad about anything… you feel sad, you feel angry, you feel worrisome, your regretful, you feel whatever… about anything… it’s because [this] right here. This process. And if we break the process… no more negative emotions regarding whatever you’ve released. And it’s THAT simple.
[Audible Commercial] Talk you soon. Peace.
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